Dealing with toxic friends has taught me something about respect. If you are not treating me or my friends with respect, don’t expect me to stick around and call you my friend any longer.
I don’t understand when someone will treat you or someone you care about like shit and somehow they call you their friend.
It’s a type of abusive relationship, I think. You feel miserable, you want to leave, but something keeps you there. You’d feel bad if you left; what are they going to do without you, it’s my fault really, blah blah etc etc. I’m just saying words of personal experience.
I love my true and good friends. They respect me, and I respect them. I will cut off any contact with you if you dare be disrespectful to them. Don’t expect me to respond if you try to come with an apology. I’ve heard the same things before, and things just kept on the way they were.
If my friends feel like they aren’t good enough at something for whatever reason, I will do my damned best to give them hope and boost their self-esteem. If they worked hard on something or feel proud of something, you better believe I will be there to make sure they deserve to feel that pride. If at anytime I make them feel uncomfortable or if I do something they don’t like, I hope they let me know so I can correct myself and make sure I don’t do it again.
And the same thing will go for people they care about and respect. So long as I know they are treating my friends and I with respect, too.
Respect is a cyclic thing: you give it, you get it, you give it, you get it, and so on and infinity.
Don’t sit there shouting mean words at people and wonder why they started being mean to you. Don’t justify yourself either when you say and do more mean things and go on saying “But they were mean first!” No. I don’t care.
Respect and disrespect is a learning experience. I’ve learned that I don’t like being treated with disrespect, so I will make sure I’m being nice to people who deserve it. WHO. DESERVE. IT.
It’s also said that if you want to judge a man’s character, look at his friends. It’s a sad reality, but people will make assumptions about you based on your friends. I’ve seen it happen. I don’t condone judgement before knowledge. But this is something that happens and I want to punch someone in the face every time they do that. Your friends can be either a good reflection upon you, or a poor reflection upon you.
I understand the abusive relationship dynamic. I do not wish for anyone to be stuck in that. I understand that if you’re taking the unfortunate end of the stick in the abusive relationship, you’ll find reasons to stay, no matter how much you’re hurting or uncomfortable or uneasy or scared. But please, if you’re reading this, know that you can get help from people who care. There are those people that do care. You can talk to me. I can refer to great people who can help you find a solution, since I’m not great with finding solutions to problems.
And now I’m rambling.
TL;DR: Toxic friends are bad. Please don’t be friends with them. It’s like being in an abusive relationship. Abusive relationships are bad.
